Thursday, July 30, 2015

Womanfreebies.com is a scam

Recently an ad came up on my facebook feed about WomanFreebies. "Coupons! Try Products free!" and the like. Naturally being a mom on a budget, I signed up. The form to sign up pops up in front of the regular screen, or so it appears.

Not noticing "Terms" below the pop-up where I was entering information, I moved forward.

Within a day, my inbox was completely full of hundreds of emails, as was my junkmail box.

Unfortunately, in a very stupid lapse of judgment, I used the email address that I use to coordinate events for my improv performance team - the email address that's all over our publications, flyers, and websites. So I can't just switch email addresses.

So I started unsubscribing. One after the other, I hit the unsubscribe links. For every one I unsubscribed to, 20 more poured into the bottom. It's literally impossible. WomanFreebies literally sold my email address to HUNDREDS of companies.

I tried emailing the founder, whose email is on their website. Obviously I got no response. I think I'll forward everything I get to her on a daily basis until she STOPS. Though she won't.

I'll post the Terms below. I couldn't find anything about how they would sell your info to every single marketer in the universe.

I did however find this little gem inside of the Privacy Policy link:

Do we disclose any information to outside parties?

We do not sell, trade, or otherwise transfer to outside parties your personally identifiable information. This does not include trusted third parties who assist us in operating our website, conducting our business, or servicing you, so long as those parties agree to keep this information confidential. We may also release your information when we believe release is appropriate to comply with the law, enforce our site policies, or protect ours or others rights, property, or safety. However, non-personally identifiable visitor information may be provided to other parties for marketing, advertising, or other uses.

So basically, they can give your information to ANYONE that they deem a third party who is 'servicing you.' Trust me, if I was being serviced, someone would be kind enough to pull my hair and choke me a little bit.

Long story short, had I used any of my throwaway email addresses, I wouldn't have noticed anything different. But since I stupidly used my main email address, I'm now inundated with an impossible amount of junkmail in my inbox and in my junkmail box.



I probably get 20 emails a day in my inbox... and around 100 a day in my junkmail. And there's literally no way to stop it. Prior to signing up on this website, I got zero emails from new parties. I got no junkmail. NONE. It was great. I knew I could log in an every email was relevant to me. Now? It's a nightmare.

What have I gotten out of womanfreebies? NOT A DAMN THING. It is a scam website that sells your information to literally thousands of companies, that you cannot get rid of.






Terms as of 7/30/15:

WomanFreebies.com - Terms and Conditions

ACCEPTANCE OF USE
THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS DESCRIBE YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES, AND BY USING THE SITE, YOU ACCEPT AND AGREE TO BE BOUND AND ABIDE BY THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS AND OUR PRIVACY POLICY, WHICH IS INCORPORATED HEREIN BY REFERENCE. THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS FORM A LEGAL AGREEMENT BETWEEN YOU AND US REGARDING YOUR USE OF THE SITE ALONG WITH THE RELATED SERVICES, FEATURES, CONTENT AND OFFERS PROVIDED ON THE SITE. YOU AGREE TO MANDATORY ARBITRATION AND WAIVER OF THE ABILITY TO BRING A CLAIM IN A CLASS ACTION FORMAT.
IF FOR ANY REASON, YOU ARE UNABLE OR UNWILLING TO AGREE TO ALL OUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS, PLEASE IMMEDIATELY STOP USING OR ATTEMPTING TO USE OUR SITE, BECAUSE IF YOU USE OR CONTINUE THE SITE, YOU WILL BE AGREEING TO EVERYTHING IN OUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS AS A CONDITION OF SUCH USE.
YOU AGREE THAT BY USING OUR SITE YOU REPRESENT THAT YOU ARE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OLD AND THAT YOU ARE LEGALLY ABLE TO ENTER INTO THIS AGREEMENT.
The following terms and conditions (the "Terms and Conditions") govern your use of this web site provided to you by WomanFreebies.com or one of its subsidiaries, and any content, features or functionality made available from or through this web site, including any subdomains thereof, or application (the "Web Site"). The Web Site is made available by adjump.com Inc. or its subsidiaries ("we" or "us" or "our"), each of which have adopted these Terms and Conditions with regard to its web site.
We may change the Terms and Conditions from time to time, at any time without notice to you, by posting such changes on the Web Site. BY USING THE WEB SITE, YOU ACCEPT AND AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS AS APPLIED TO YOUR USE OF THE WEB SITE. If you do not agree to these Terms and Conditions, you may not access or otherwise use the Web Site.
Proprietary Rights. We own, solely and exclusively, all rights, title and interest in and to the Web Site, all the content (including, for example, audio, photographs, illustrations, graphics, other visuals, video, copy, text, software, titles, Shockwave files, etc.), code, data and materials thereon, the look and feel, design and organization of the Web Site, and the compilation of the content, code, data and materials on the Web Site, including but not limited to any copyrights, trademark rights, patent rights, database rights, moral rights, sui generis rights and other intellectual property and proprietary rights therein. Your use of the Web Site does not grant to you ownership of any content, code, data or materials you may access on or through the Web Site.
Limited License. You may access and view the content on the Web Site on your computer or other devices and, unless otherwise indicated in these Terms and Conditions or on the Web Site, make single copies or prints of the content on the Web Site for your personal, internal use only. Unless otherwise specifically indicated in these Terms and Conditions or on the Web Site, use of the Web Site and the services offered on or through the Web Site, are only for your personal, non-commercial use.
Prohibited Use. Unless otherwise specifically indicated in these Terms and Conditions or on the Web Site, any commercial or promotional distribution, publishing or exploitation of the Web Site, or any content, code, data or materials on the Web Site, is strictly prohibited unless you have received the express prior written permission from our authorized personnel or the otherwise applicable rights holder. Other than as expressly allowed herein or on the Web Site, you may not download, post, display, publish, copy, reproduce, distribute, transmit, modify, perform, broadcast, transfer, create derivative works from, sell or otherwise exploit any content, code, data or materials on or available through the Web Site. You further agree that you may not alter, edit, delete, remove, otherwise change the meaning or appearance of, or repurpose, any of the content, code, data, or other materials on or available through the Web Site, including, without limitation, the alteration or removal of any trademarks, trade names, logos, service marks, or any other proprietary content or proprietary rights notices. You acknowledge that you do not acquire any ownership rights by downloading or otherwise using any copyrighted material from or through the Web Site. If you make other use of the Web Site, or the content, code, data or materials thereon or available through the Web Site, except as otherwise provided above, you may violate copyright and other laws of the United States, other countries, as well as applicable state laws and may be subject to liability for such unauthorized use.
Trademarks. The trademarks, logos, service marks and trade names (collectively the "Trademarks") displayed on the Web Site or on content available through the Web Site are our registered and unregistered Trademarks and others and may not be used in connection with products and/or services that are not related to, associated with, or sponsored by their rights holders that are likely to cause customer confusion, or in any manner that disparages or discredits their rights holders. All Trademarks not owned by us that appear on the Web Site or on or through the Web Site's services, if any, are the property of their respective owners. Nothing contained on the Web Site should be construed as granting, by implication, estoppel, or otherwise, any license or right to use any Trademark displayed on the Web Site without our written permission or the third party that may own the applicable Trademark. Your misuse of the Trademarks displayed on the Web Site or on or through any of the Web Site's services is strictly prohibited.
User Information. In the course of your use of the Web Site and/or the services made available on or through the Web Site, you may be asked to provide certain personalized information to us (such information referred to hereinafter as "User Information"). Our information collection and use policies with respect to the privacy of such User Information are set forth in the Web Site's Privacy Policy. You acknowledge and agree that you are solely responsible for the accuracy and content of User Information.
Submitted Materials. Unless specifically requested, we do not solicit nor do we wish to receive any confidential, secret or proprietary information or other material from you through the Web Site, by e-mail or in any other way. Any information, creative works, demos, ideas, suggestions, concepts, methods, systems, designs, plans, techniques or other materials submitted or sent to us (including, for example and without limitation, that which you submit or post to our chat rooms, message boards, survey responses, and/or our blogs, or send to us via e-mail) ("Submitted Materials") will be deemed not to be confidential or secret, and may be used by us in any manner consistent with the Web Site's Privacy Policy. By submitting or sending Submitted Materials to us, you: (i) represent and warrant that the Submitted Materials are original to you, that no other party has any rights thereto, and that any "moral rights" in Submitted Materials have been waived, and (ii) you grant us and our affiliates a royalty-free, unrestricted, worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable, non-exclusive and fully transferable, assignable and sub licensable right and license to use, copy, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform, display and incorporate in other works any Submitted Materials (in whole or part) in any form, media, or technology now known or later developed, including for promotional and/or commercial purposes. We cannot be responsible for maintaining any Submitted Material that you provide to us, and we may delete or destroy any such Submitted Material at any time.
Prohibited User Conduct. You warrant and agree that, while using the Web Site and the various services, features and functionality offered on or through the Web Site, you shall not: (a) impersonate any person or entity or misrepresent your affiliation with any other person or entity; (b) insert your own or a third party's advertising, branding or other promotional content into any of the Web Site's content, materials or services (for example, without limitation, in an Embedded Video (as defined herein), RSS feed or a podcast received from us or otherwise through the Web Site), or, except as otherwise specifically authorized in these Terms and Conditions or on the Web Site use, redistribute, republish or exploit such content or service for any further commercial or promotional purposes; or (c) attempt to gain unauthorized access to other computer systems through the Web Site. You shall not: (i) engage in spidering, "screen scraping," "database scraping," harvesting of e-mail addresses, wireless addresses or other contact or personal information, or any other automatic means of obtaining lists of users or other information from or through the Web Site or the services offered on or through the Web Site, including without limitation any information residing on any server or database connected to the Web Site or the services offered on or through the Web Site; (ii) obtain or attempt to obtain unauthorized access to computer systems, materials or information through any means; (iii) use the Web Site or the services made available on or through the Web Site in any manner that could interrupt, damage, disable, overburden, or impair the Web Site or such services, including, without limitation, sending mass unsolicited messages or "flooding" servers with requests; (iv) use the Web Site or the Web Site's services or features in violation of our or any third party's intellectual property or other proprietary or legal rights; or (v) use the Web Site or the Web Site's services in violation of any applicable law. You further agree that you shall not attempt (or encourage or support anyone else's attempt) to circumvent, reverse engineer, decrypt, or otherwise alter or interfere with the Web Site or the Web Site's services, or any content thereof, or make any unauthorized use thereof. You agree that you shall not use the Web Site in any manner that could interfere with any other party's use and enjoyment of the Web Site or any of its services. You shall not obtain or attempt to obtain any materials or information through any means not intentionally made publicly available or provided for through the Web Site.
Public Forums. We may, from time to time, make messaging services, chat services, bulletin boards, message boards, blogs, other forums and other such services available on or through the Web Site. In addition to any other rules or regulations that we may post in connection with a particular service, you agree that you shall not upload, post, transmit, distribute or otherwise publish through the Web Site or any service or feature made available on or through the Web Site, any materials which (i) restrict or inhibit any other user from using and enjoying the Web Site or the Web Site's services, (ii) are fraudulent, unlawful, threatening, abusive, harassing, libelous, defamatory, obscene, vulgar, offensive, pornographic, profane, sexually explicit or indecent, (iii) constitute or encourage conduct that would constitute a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability or otherwise violate any local, state, national or international law, (iv) violate, plagiarize or infringe the rights of third parties including, without limitation, copyright, trademark, trade secret, confidentiality, contract, patent, rights of privacy or publicity or any other proprietary right, (v) contain a virus, spyware, or other harmful component, (vi) contain embedded links, advertising, chain letters or pyramid schemes of any kind, or (vii) constitute or contain false or misleading indications of origin, endorsement or statements of fact. You further agree not to impersonate any other person or entity, whether actual or fictitious, including us or our personnel. You also may not offer to buy or sell any product or service on or through your comments submitted to our forums. You alone are responsible for the content and consequences of any of your activities.
Right to Monitor. We reserve the right, but do not have an obligation, to monitor and/or review all materials posted to the Web Site or through the Web Site's services or features by users, and we are not responsible for any such materials posted by users. However, we reserve the right at all times to disclose any information as necessary to satisfy any law, regulation or government request, or to edit, refuse to post or to remove any information or materials, in whole or in part, that in our sole discretion are objectionable or in violation of this Terms and Conditions, our policies or applicable law. We may also impose limits on certain features of the forums or restrict your access to part or all of the forums without notice or penalty if we believe you are in breach of the guidelines set forth in this paragraph, our terms and conditions or applicable law, or for any other reason without notice or liability.
Private or Sensitive Information on Public Forums. It is important to remember that comments submitted to a forum may be recorded and stored in multiple places, both on our Web Site and elsewhere on the Internet, which are likely to be accessible for a long time and you have no control over who will read them eventually. It is therefore important that you are careful and selective about the personal information that you disclose about yourself and others, and in particular, you should not disclose sensitive, embarrassing, proprietary or confidential information in your comments to our public forums.
Linking to the Web Site. Unless otherwise specifically indicated in these Terms and Conditions or on the Web Site, you agree that: (i) if you include a link from any other web site to the Web Site, such link shall open in a new browser window and shall link to the full version of an HTML formatted page of this Web Site; (ii) you are not permitted to link directly to any image hosted on the Web Site or our services, such as using an "in-line" linking method to cause the image hosted by us to be displayed on another web site; and (iii) you agree not to download or use images hosted on this Web Site on another web site, for any purpose, including, without limitation, posting such images on another site. You agree not to link from any other web site to this Web Site in any manner such that the Web Site, or any page of the Web Site, is "framed," surrounded or obfuscated by any third party content, materials or branding. We reserve all of our rights under the law to insist that any link to the Web Site be discontinued, and to revoke your right to link to the Web Site from any other web site at any time upon written notice to you.
Product Redemption. From time to time we may distribute deals, freebies, or samples (collectively, "Offers"). The availability of the Offers may vary based on location and timing. In redeeming an Offer, you further agree to the WomanFreebies.com Terms and Conditions.
Promotions. From time to time we may offer sweepstakes, contests, or other similar promotions ("Promotions"). Promotions vary and may require you to submit information about yourself to us. Each Promotion has its own Terms and Conditions, which govern your participation in the Promotion. You must read and agree to these separate Terms and Conditions before entering into any such Promotion.
Third Party Content and Links from the Web Site. If the Web Site contains links to other sites and resources provided by third parties, such links are provided for convenience purposes only. This includes links contained in advertisements, banner advertisements, and sponsored links. We have no control over, and no liability for any third party websites or materials. We work with a number of partners and affiliates whose Internet sites may be linked with the Web Site. Because neither we nor our Web Site has control over the content and performance of these partner and affiliate sites, we make no guarantees about the accuracy, currency, content, or quality of the information provided by such sites, and we assume no responsibility for unintended, objectionable, inaccurate, misleading, or unlawful content that may reside on those sites.
Similarly, from time to time in connection with your use of the Web Site, you may have access to Content or websites that are owned by third parties ("Third Party Content"). You acknowledge and agree that we make no guarantees about, and assume no responsibility for, the accuracy, currency, content, or quality of Third Party Content, and that, unless expressly provided otherwise, these Terms and Conditions shall govern your use of any and all Third Party Content.
Third Party Merchants. Our Web Sites contains many offers from third party partners and affiliates which may allow you to order, receive, or redeem various products and services by business that are not owned or operated by us. The delivery, guarantee, maintenance, and all other matters concerning your transactions with these businesses are solely between you and such businesses. We do NOT, in any way, shape or form, endorse, warrant, or guarantee any such third party offers and we are not liable for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of such information or the availability of any offers.
Embedded Video Links. Certain pages of the Web Site provide the functionality for you to "embed" videos appearing on the page on other web sites or blog pages (together with the Player, as defined herein, the "Embedded Video"). The functionality is provided by giving you the necessary HTML code to include on such page to make that Embedded Video appear. If you include the HTML on a web or blog page, the actual video stream for the Embedded Video will be served from our servers but the Embedded Video may be rendered to the visitor of that page as part of that page. If you elect to embed video on a page, you agree as follows: (i) you will not alter, in any respect, the Embedded Video (including without limitation the content, format, and length and advertising associated therewith) from how it is served from our servers; (ii) you will not facilitate access to the Embedded Video through any video player or other tool other than the video player that is provided by us when the Embedded Video appears (the "Player"); (iii) the Embedded Video may be used as part for commercial purposes, including on an advertising-supported page, provided that: (a) the Embedded Video shall not be included in, or used as part of, a service that sells access to video content; (b) you shall not insert advertising, sponsorship or promotional messages in, or immediately adjacent to, the Embedded Video or Player; and (c) to the extent you sell any advertising, sponsorship or promotional material to appear on the same page that includes the Embedded Video, the page includes other content not provided by us which is a sufficient basis for such sales. You may not block, inhibit, build upon or disable any portion of the Player, including without limitation links back to our site. You understand and agree that all measured metrics related to the access and viewing of the Embedded Video shall be credited to the Web Site without limitation of any provision of these Terms and Conditions, we shall have no liability to you for any reason with respect to your use of Embedded Video and you agree to defend, indemnify and hold us and our affiliates and our affiliates' directors, officers, employees and agents harmless from any and all claims, liabilities, costs and expenses, including attorneys' fees, arising in any way from your use of the Embedded Video.
Copyright Infringement. We respect the intellectual property rights of others, and require that the people who use the Web Site, or the services or features made available on or through the Web Site, do the same. If you believe that your work has been copied in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, please forward the following information to Legal@WomanFreebies.com
  • Your address, telephone number, and email address;
  • A description of the copyrighted work that you claim has been infringed;
  • A description of where the alleged infringing material is located;
  • A statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law;
  • An electronic or physical signature of the person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright interest; and
  • A statement by you, made under penalty of perjury, that the above information in your notice is accurate and that you are the copyright owner or are authorized to act on the copyright owner's behalf.
For Customer Service, please contact:
WomanFreebies.com
1338 Wellington Street West, Unit 200
Ottawa, ON K1Y 3B7
Canada
e-mail: admin@WomanFreebies.com
Indemnification. You agree to defend, indemnify and hold us and our affiliates and our affiliates' directors, officers, employees and agents harmless from any and all claims, liabilities, costs and expenses, including attorneys' fees, arising in any way from your use of the Web Site, your placement or transmission of any message, content, information, software or other materials through the Web Site, or your breach or violation of the law or of these Terms and Conditions. We reserve the right, at our own expense, to assume the exclusive defense and control of any matter otherwise subject to indemnification by you, and in such case, you agree to cooperate with our defense of such claim.
DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES. THE WEB SITE, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, ALL SERVICES, FEATURES, CONTENT, FUNCTIONS AND MATERIALS PROVIDED THROUGH THE WEB SITE, ARE PROVIDED "AS IS," "AS AVAILABLE," WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, ANY WARRANTY FOR INFORMATION, DATA, DATA PROCESSING SERVICES, UPTIME OR UNINTERRUPTED ACCESS, ANY WARRANTIES CONCERNING THE AVAILABILITY, PLAYABILITY, DISPLAYABILITY, ACCURACY, PRECISION, CORRECTNESS, THOROUGHNESS, COMPLETENESS, USEFULNESS, OR CONTENT OF INFORMATION, AND ANY WARRANTIES OF TITLE, NON-INFRINGEMENT, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND WE HEREBY DISCLAIM ANY AND ALL SUCH WARRANTIES, EXPRESS AND IMPLIED. WE DO NOT WARRANT THAT THE WEB SITE OR THE SERVICES, CONTENT, FUNCTIONS OR MATERIALS PROVIDED THROUGH THE WEB SITE WILL BE TIMELY, SECURE, UNINTERRUPTED OR ERROR FREE, OR THAT DEFECTS WILL BE CORRECTED. WE MAKE NO WARRANTY THAT THE WEB SITE OR THE PROVIDED SERVICES WILL MEET USERS' REQUIREMENTS. NO ADVICE, RESULTS OR INFORMATION, WHETHER ORAL OR WRITTEN, OBTAINED BY YOU FROM US OR THROUGH THE WEB SITE SHALL CREATE ANY WARRANTY NOT EXPRESSLY MADE HEREIN. WE AND OUR AFFILIATES ALSO ASSUME NO RESPONSIBILITY, AND SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR, ANY DAMAGES TO, OR VIRUSES THAT MAY INFECT, YOUR EQUIPMENT ON ACCOUNT OF YOUR ACCESS TO, USE OF, OR BROWSING IN THE WEB SITE OR YOUR DOWNLOADING OF ANY MATERIALS, DATA, TEXT, IMAGES, VIDEO CONTENT, OR AUDIO CONTENT FROM THE WEB SITE. IF YOU ARE DISSATISFIED WITH THE WEB SITE, YOUR SOLE REMEDY IS TO DISCONTINUE USING THE WEB SITE.
WE TRY TO ENSURE THAT THE INFORMATION POSTED ON THE WEB SITE IS CORRECT AND UP-TO-DATE. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE OR MAKE CORRECTIONS TO ANY OF THE INFORMATION PROVIDED ON THE WEB SITE AT ANY TIME AND WITHOUT ANY PRIOR WARNING. WE NEITHER ENDORSE NOR ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ACCURACY OR RELIABILITY OF ANY OPINION, ADVICE OR STATEMENT ON THE WEB SITE, NOR FOR ANY OFFENSIVE, DEFAMATORY, OBSCENE, INDECENT, UNLAWFUL OR INFRINGING POSTING MADE THEREON BY ANYONE OTHER THAN OUR AUTHORIZED EMPLOYEE SPOKESPERSONS WHILE ACTING IN THEIR OFFICIAL CAPACITIES (INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, OTHER USERS OF THE WEB SITE). IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO EVALUATE THE ACCURACY, COMPLETENESS OR USEFULNESS OF ANY INFORMATION, OPINION, ADVICE OR OTHER CONTENT AVAILABLE THROUGH THE WEB SITE. PLEASE SEEK THE ADVICE OF PROFESSIONALS, AS APPROPRIATE, REGARDING THE EVALUATION OF ANY SPECIFIC INFORMATION, OPINION, ADVICE OR OTHER CONTENT, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO FINANCIAL, HEALTH, OR LIFESTYLE INFORMATION, OPINION, ADVICE OR OTHER CONTENT.
LIMITATION OF LIABILITY. IN NO EVENT, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO NEGLIGENCE, SHALL WE, OUR AFFILIATES, OR ANY OF OUR DIRECTORS, OFFICERS, EMPLOYEES, AGENTS OR CONTENT OR SERVICE PROVIDERS (COLLECTIVELY, THE "PROTECTED ENTITIES") BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, EXEMPLARY OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES ARISING FROM, OR DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY RELATED TO, THE USE OF, OR THE INABILITY TO USE, THE WEB SITE OR THE CONTENT, FEATURES, MATERIALS AND FUNCTIONS RELATED THERETO, YOUR PROVISION OF INFORMATION VIA THE WEB SITE, LOST BUSINESS OR LOST SALES, EVEN IF SUCH PROTECTED ENTITY HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW THE LIMITATION OR EXCLUSION OF LIABILITY FOR INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES SO SOME OF THE ABOVE LIMITATIONS MAY NOT APPLY TO CERTAIN USERS. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE PROTECTED ENTITIES BE LIABLE FOR OR IN CONNECTION WITH ANY CONTENT POSTED, TRANSMITTED, EXCHANGED OR RECEIVED BY OR ON BEHALF OF ANY USER OR OTHER PERSON ON OR THROUGH THE WEB SITE. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE TOTAL AGGREGATE LIABILITY OF THE PROTECTED ENTITIES TO YOU FOR ALL DAMAGES, LOSSES, AND CAUSES OF ACTION (WHETHER IN CONTRACT OR TORT, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, NEGLIGENCE OR OTHERWISE) ARISING FROM THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OR YOUR USE OF THE WEB SITE EXCEED, IN THE AGGREGATE, THE AMOUNT, IF ANY, PAID BY YOU TO US FOR YOUR USE OF THE WEB SITE OR PURCHASE OF PRODUCTS VIA THE WEB SITE.
Photosensitive Seizures. A very small percentage of people may experience a seizure when exposed to certain visual images, such as flashing lights or patterns that may appear in video games or other electronic or online content. Even people who have no history of seizures or epilepsy may have an undiagnosed condition that can cause these "photosensitive epileptic seizures" while watching video games or other electronic content. These seizures have a variety of symptoms, including light-headedness, disorientation, confusion, momentary loss of awareness, eye or face twitching, altered vision or jerking or shaking of arms or legs. If you experience any of the foregoing symptoms, or if you or your family has a history of seizures or epilepsy, you should immediately stop using the Web Site and consult a doctor.
Termination. We may terminate, change, suspend or discontinue any aspect of the Web Site or the Web Site's services at any time. We may restrict, suspend or terminate your access to the Web Site and/or its services if we believe you are in breach of our Terms and Conditions or applicable law, or for any other reason without notice or liability. We maintain a policy that provides for the termination in appropriate circumstances of the Web Site use privileges of users who are repeat infringers of intellectual property rights.
Changes to Terms and Conditions. We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to change, modify, add or remove any portion of the Terms and Conditions, in whole or in part, at any time. Changes in the Terms and Conditions will be effective when posted. Your continued use of the Web Site and/or the services made available on or through the Web Site after any changes to the Terms and Conditions are posted will be considered acceptance of those changes.
Miscellaneous. The Terms and Conditions, and the relationship between you and us, shall be governed by the laws of the Province of Ontario, Canada. You agree that any cause of action that may arise under the Terms and Conditions shall be commenced and be heard in the appropriate court in the Province of Ontario, Canada. You agree to submit to the personal and exclusive jurisdiction of the courts located within the Province of Ontario. Our failure to exercise or enforce any right or provision of the Terms and Conditions shall not constitute a waiver of such right or provision. If any provision of the Terms and Conditions is found by a court of competent jurisdiction to be invalid, the parties nevertheless agree that the court should endeavor to give effect to the parties' intentions as reflected in the provision, and the other provisions of the Terms and Conditions remain in full force and effect.
These Terms and Conditions were revised 04/28/2015

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

The Perils of Walmart Shopping

I ran to walmart last night to grab a few essentials. That was my first mistake.
My daughter and I went to the cash register and, since I was at Wal-Mart, only two registers were open. There were 3 employees at the empty Customer Service desk, of course. But two cashiers in the whole goddamn place.
So we went past the regular checkout and it was packed with people whose carts were similarly packed. I had about 15 items, so I went to the 20 Items or Fewer register (well, that's what it should be titled, but "proper grammer" and "Wal-Mart" don't often go together). This happened to be the only register where one can buy tobacco and baby formula. For that reason, this is the lane that many people have to go to, but idiots like me who just have fewer than 20 items get in it too.
Our cashier had disheveled hair, red eyes, and spoke in a mumbly voice that nobody was able to understand the first time. My first thought was, "Holy crap, this dude is drunk as fuck."
The lady at the front of our line was a tall blonde who looked far too clean and affluent to be at a Wal-Mart. We'll call her Buffy. Behind her was a miniature hispanic lady. I assume she was hispanic because she responded once to a comment with what sound like something my friends learned in high school Spanish class. Day Nada? Right. Okay, so we'll call her Maria. Then there was me, and a few minutes later someone appeared in line behind me but I didn't turn around to see who it was.

Buffy was buying one thing, with a $10 off coupon. That's a damn good coupon, you get it girl! And put the money you saved right into your IRA. Cashier Dude couldn't figure it out, so he had to call over a manager. Somehow he ran the coupon incorrectly. Manager came over and fixed it, with some trouble. The woman checking out apologized to us twice while waiting. The hispanic lady in front of me just smiled and made a noncommittal noise, seemingly perplexed as to what the fuck was happening, while I reassured Buffy that she was just fine, no worries. Because I didn't know that her delay was the first in a long line of delays that would make me want to stab my own brain through the ear with a clearance fork. 
Meanwhile, Maria only had diapers and wipes on the belt. Since the belt was mostly empty, I emptied my cart onto the back. This would prove to be my second mistake: now I was stuck in this aisle, unless I took everything off the belt and put it back in my cart.
Right as Drunk Cashier was about to start ringing up the lady in front of me, I became aware of a commotion behind us. A beautiful, tall black woman in her 30s at most asked if she could hop in front of me, because "Otherwise he's going to wreck the store." I turned to see that she was referring to a a white man in his thirties who appeared to have a cognitive issue, and who was drinking a can of pepsi from an opened carton in the cart. Based on their ethnic differences and what happened next, I assume she was his nurse or caregiver in some capacity. We'll call her Hellooo, Nurse. "Please, go right ahead," I said. Hellooo Nurse looked so disheveled that I wanted to help her or hug her or buy her a whole jug of wine with a straw.
She squeezed ahead of me and threw a few items on the register, informing the man that since he opened the soda, she would be paying for it with his money instead of hers. She got out his money bag and had him pay Drunk Cashier for the stuff he'd opened, gesturing to it in her cart behind me. Drunk Cashier rung him up, and then she threw her other few items on the belt to be paid for on her own card. Meanwhile the gentleman with her was yelling loudly, asking her questions, and causing a commotion. She patiently answered his repeated questions, which seemed to be in some kind of code that only she and he understood. "Whatime?" he would yell, and she would say "Wednesday." This would repeat a dozen times before he switched to "Wedsday?" and she'd reply "That's today."

Both myself and Maria smiled encouragingly at Hellooo Nurse, who clearly had her hands full but was rocking it. When she apologized to us, I told her she was doing a great job. She thanked me as she blew her hair out of her eyes and dropped her wallet, dropping change everywhere. My daughter helped her pick it up while I moved my cart behind hers so she could access her stuff and get out of there easier.
As Hellooo Nurse was gathering her bags back into her cart, Maria stepped up to have her items rung up. They were still on the belt. Drunk Cashier said, "Oh no, I already rang those up on your card." What? Whaa- how had he rung up those items if he hadn't scanned them? Apparently he'd seen her gesturing to her cart and instead thought she had also been intending to pay for Maria's 3 items, which he'd somehow rung up. There was a whole mess of confusion, resulting in another manager coming over and having to negate payments and re-ring various items. The people in the customer service department just nonchalantly looked over at us, chatting away to each other with their zero customers, while I did my best to wish diarrhea on all of them for being so goddamn useless. Hellooo Nurse again apologized. The non-English-speaking woman just looked terrified. My daughter sighed. 
Finally it was our turn to go. Drunk Cashier rang us up, and two of the items rang up differently than they had been marked in the aisle, so i had him remove them from my receipt. He apologized profusely... for the one thing all night that hadn't been his fault. I got the impression by his manner of speech that perhaps he wasn't drunk or on drugs (though I've never really been around drugs to know how they make you behave), perhaps he was struggling with the same type of mental competency issues like Hellooo Nurse's charge. I'm still perplexed as to why a national superstore would place this man at the busiest register in the store, without keeping a manager nearby. He was clearly struggling and causing more problems than he was solving. It seemed to be the equivalent of me giving my 9 year old daughter the job of driving my car so that I could sit in the passenger seat and control the radio instead. Sure, it'd make her feel good, but it'll be basically suicide for all of us. 
We got out of there, and on our way out, the Bath Fitter dude stopped us. If you've never heard of Bath Fitter, they come out to your moldy-ass nasty bath tub and put a new bath tub shell over it, so you can appear to have cleaned your tub once in awhile while ignoring the inevitable stench wafting up from between the layers.  But fine, Bath Fitter guy. I'll call him Raspy due to his obvious habit of smoking since he was a fetus. Raspy was in his 40s or 50s and wearing a leather jacket with a button-up shirt underneath, which was unbuttoned down to his navel. He called out to us and, exhausted, I politely declined - "It looks nice, but we can't make changes because we're renting." All true. All my attempt to get the fuck out of there without talking to this obviously pushy guy. 
But Raspy took my rental explanation as cause to run out and stop us. He placed himself in front of my cart and said that he'd give me a 10% off coupon for when we buy a house. Sure, dude. I'm going to buy a house with a bathroom so unsightly and unkempt that I have to refinish it with your bullshit solution. I understand that this is Walmart, but you're aiming too high here, bro. Either way, I wanted to leave. So I decided the quickest way to get out of there was to take the free 10% Off coupon. But to get that goddamn coupon, he said I had to sign up on a contact card. Fucking fine.

I wrote down my previous address which no longer forwards my mail, and my "cell phone number" which was a conglomeration of my parents' landline and some other random numbers thrown in. Raspy read my name from the card and jumped into full Salesman mode. And he was doing the hard sell. "Becky, if you see here, this does this" and "Becky, if you get your landlord to meet with my lady that'll call you, this and this and this will happen." Becky, did you know that Bath Fitter does kitchen cabinets too? Look at this --" Then he started quizzing me about how close my landlord was to us, what my landlord's gender was, and asking for my landlord's phone number.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that my landlord was a serious control-freak of a bitch who had paid extra to have my house's kitchen done by a custom cabinet dude from Amish country, and who had nearly had a bowel-exploding stroke one time when a magnet fell off from one of the cupboard doors. He continued on for well over ten minutes, not pausing long enough for me to interrupt. He finally asked a question, probably something like "Do you hate yourself enough to refinish your entire bathroom with a veneer bathtub?" and I saw my chance to speak.

"I need to get my daughter home to bed," I said, yanking my child's head sideways against my hip in faux maternal affection, while mentally channeling the phrase "Pretend to be tired, you little fucker, I want to leave!" He said he understood and went through another 3 minute speil detailing exactly how they'd get in touch with us (they'll call me, I GOT IT DUDE), how great my daughter was behaving (You should see what I'm holding back from doing to you, Raspy), and asking her if she did well in school (Better than you, bro.). I backed away and said goodnight, and he kept talking as we walked away. "Have a good night!" I shouted, shuddering from the pushiness and frustration of everything.
My daughter quizzed me later in the car. "What on earth was that about?" I explained her how I was just being polite, and how stupid it was to be indirect, and how indirectness can get you caught up into sitiations like that. What better life lesson on how dangerous indirectness is than being street-harassed by some dude who works on commission. 
So. I'd like to conclude this story by saying that Pennsylvania needs to update their shittyass liquor laws, because I definitely needed a drink after that, and that entire thing would've been so much better if I'd been able to pop open a bag of wine with a twisty straw and slurp my way to oblivion.